Dear Journal

by Chris Mack

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03:14
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04:19
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04:11
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02:32
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04:18
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9.

credits

released January 23, 2017

© Christopher “Chris Mack” Mack // All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized Duplication is Punishable by Federal Law.
Music Production by “Colton Smith” (Track 6 & 8), “DG Beats” (Track 1, 5, & 9), “Theory” (Track 2), “Triple A Beats” (Track 3), “Tone Jonez” (Track 4), & “SilvaSurfr” (Track 7)
Writing by Christopher Mack
Recordings by Chris Mack (Tracks 1-7 & 9) & Colton Smith ( Track 8)
Mixing by Chris Mack (Tracks 1-5) & Colton Smith (6-9)
Mastering by Colton Smith
Photo Design by: Arianna Torres
Font Layout by: Katie Morario

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about

Chris Mack Indianapolis, Indiana

Chris Mack was born on the west side of Indianapolis. He began writing lyrics at the age of 11. By the time he was 13 he began to rap with his cousin and father, eventually leading to a career of making & recording hip hop music. Mack’s main intention is to make art through music. He mainly focuses on speaking about Jesus Christ and his significance through everyones life with positive music. ... more

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Track Name: Butterfly Effect (feat. Shaina Shroll)
Butterfly Effect feat. Shaina Shroll

Verse 1:
Emo emo rapping, all the way through the quest
Hardly put my hands together like the T-Rex
I love the heeds that come from my master they hard to follow
That's the case when you can't get what your after, love the chase
I can't quick pay on my terms, but there is grace and
I get frustrated when there's mornings I don't feel like praying, I’m lazy
But maybe, I'll be okay if I let this slip up
I know that I'm forgiven when my crap is given up
And so i'll take an L on this one, I'll call a butterfly
I'll call an audible, and try again, another time
I'll do it tomorrow like it was promised pay homage give interest like I was listening
Sing another day, pray another day, save another day I will feed the hungry on another day
It takes a while for them growth spurts
Can't use a hot comb, them nappy roots will cause them neck burns
Can't force it or can't fake it or can't wait it out
The problem is, I’d rather wait it out

Chorus:
Here I am right now
I am here to love you
But only for a while
Please help me to trust you

Verse 2:
Day one I love you daddy your so awesome
Day two your showing me all of your traits and virtues
Day three your love is unconditional
Day four I forgot to spend my day with you it's okay
Day five I missed you again, but thank you for that meal
Day six I can tell my patience getting really thin
Day seven the word don't seem so very urgent to me
Day eight emergency, emergency, ah
Emo emo rapping, all the way through this quest
Hardy put my hands together like a T-Rex
I love the heeds that come from my master and yet it's crazy
That my flesh hates what my soul loves, I know what I must listen to
My past actions they don't define me but they matter
If their quick to play a role in my disaster
And this past will soar inside a time machine, if I allow it
Changing natural reality, unless the maker dismounts it, here I, here I am

Chorus:
Here I am right now
I am here to love you
But only for a while
Please help me to trust you
Track Name: Glass House
Glass House

Verse 1:
Whom shall I fear most? A misquote so
I gotta cast fear aside, because the only one that I fear is God
Locked in what I did inside, I never did kill the pride
I took a wall and stacked it to the sky just to hide and protect my demise
Alright alright let me put this sin aside, and let me trust in God
Cause in this glass house, you only see what the light shines
And darkness tries to co-resign, and share the bed where my heart lies
The arteries are blocked by the past, flow won't move until my heart, beats, fast
So let's smash it, the misconceptions
I follow one path, but have some questions
My ceiling fan, spins one direction
Fast or slow need to go your pace, power won't stop this
Oh you thought my life wasn't ruckus, I hate the dark like ruckus
But I'm still in this land before my time is even up
So till then I'll fight this battle flesh and spirit knuckle up
Let my light shine and let my heart show, the darkness that's exposed.

Chorus:
Hold up hold up, hold up hold up
Hold up hold up. hold up hold up
Hold up hold up, hold up hold up
Hold up hold up, hold up hold up
Give me everything in this glass house
Give me (x10)
Give me everything in this glass house
Give me (x10)
Give me everything

Verse 2:
My notebook has content that I am not proud of
My glasshouse shows all of this crap to get out of
Y'all don't wanna hear that mess nah, but y’all need to
I don't wanna deceive you, and as a man of faith I speak better when I'm weak too
My heart, ungrateful, better thank the Lord for that oatmeal
That you eating every morning, getting boring
But my mind, distasteful, and I still have that lust appeal
I got bros that hold me accountable cause this temptation is too real
And my siblings grown up, and I love em yes
But I don't call em enough, got me asking questions
When in second guessing stressing if my time on campus cutting all affections
I work hard but I don't love hard grandma said why must I be reminded of a phone call
Sorry grandma, said I'll do better
I'm at higher standards I feel like at times I'm failing
We’re just getting started through these journal entries
Holy Spirit please start working in me, hold up

Chorus:
Hold up hold up, hold up hold up
Hold up hold up. hold up hold up
Hold up hold up, hold up hold up
Hold up hold up, hold up hold up
Give me everything in this glass house
Give me (x10)
Give me everything in this glass house
Give me (x10)
Give me everything
Track Name: Late Nite
Late Nite

Chorus (x2):
The beauty of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The poetry of late nights
The danger of a late night
The danger of a late night
Emotions of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The splendor of a late night
The danger of a late night
The danger of a late night
The hinder of a late night 


Verse 1:
Beauty in the nature more than fewer
Free lands celebrated like free bands in the future
And when the sun is down, night stars give me the run down
Lessons like there is beauty and some truth inside this night now
I see the stars revelation
I never saw the west coast nights for proper celebration
When eyelids become the shield that will contain the thoughts
Of all the things I often think at 3am 
I said I'm vulnerable to say the least
I’m so emotional
The only ones that are up are me and this stupid light bulb, The sign of life is minimal
Critical I set my thoughts on some other individual
I wonder if my last girl’s looking at the stars
I wonder why my music hasn’t blasted off
I wonder, should I give into my lustful thoughts?
I wonder, should I go to bed and knock it off?

Pre Chorus:
Evil is after me, beauty is after me
Evil is after me and the beauty is after me
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe
I said evil is after me, beauty is after me
Evil is after me and the beauty is after me
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe

Chorus:
The beauty of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The poetry of late nights
The danger of a late night
The danger of a late night
Emotions of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The splendor of a late night
The danger of a late night
The danger of a late night
The hinder of a late night

Verse 2:
Wanted to take a trip to nowhere
I guess I had the courage
After the night shift guess I had the urge to play the calmest measures, Josh Garrels
Got the car started
Put the car on cruise control going forty miles
Driving down the road I admire all the while
Looking at the night lights basic city lights
I enjoy the night lights, I enjoy the night life
Stopped up at the red light, by the bar
I'm seeing all my people getting tipsy walking by not trying to get a D.U.I
I'm trying to do my best not to hit the sweaty cause he is stumbling with every step he takes
Five-O, with the sirens chilling on the brakes
Woman in the handcuffs, she about to have a case
Ain't nobody trying to sleep, but if they gotta
Then they might say goodnight to the crazy beauty of a late night

Pre Chorus:
Said the evil is after me, beauty is after me
Evil is after me and the beauty is after me
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe
I said evil is after me, beauty is after me
Evil is after me and the beauty is after me
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe
The light upon a hill’s the reason that I believe

Chorus:
The beauty of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The poetry of late nights
The danger of a late night
The danger of a late night
Emotions of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The beauty of a late night
The splendor of a late night
The danger of a late night
The danger of a late night
The hinder of a late night
Track Name: Integrity
Integrity

Verse 1
Papa said son, even though I'm the head better get your head right
Did I make mistakes better believe you dead right
Let your feet bike before you see the street lights
And if I catch you acting stupid we “gon” have a dead fight
Memoirs of moi at a younger age
Wish I could of said I've seen better days
Momma home alone guess I won't see dad today
Father used to gang bang but now I see em pray
And at one point, saw life worthless
But God brought change, and it all makes sense
Used my dad to, change my life too
Him along with, my whole youth group
Told me son you are blessed by you know who
And you need to seek the truth you’re used to
Flesh sees edibles, don’t follow see-food
These streets they seek you, drinks will sink you, girls will please you
Oh they'll try to
My God he's right, sometimes I denied you
You saved my life no surprise, you showed me in the Bible
Now it's about time that I crush these idols
Growing up its about time that I raise disciples
Get meek, this race that I'm running is without rivals
This relationships a marriage I'm running way down the aisle
Gotta find my satisfaction in the one that I can dial, cause Jesus on the main line

Chorus:
Integrity will go a long way
When it will never go my way, I know y'all heard this one
I grew up a screw up
Got introduced to the name to the name And then I grew up
And then I grew up
And then I grew up

Verse 2:
What it mean to live right
What it mean to live right
What it mean to live right
What it mean to live right
What it mean to live
My sin aims wide, shotgun
I'm trying to live my life like the Godfather
When I need to live out my life as the God son
And hear ye when I say I try
Means that I respond to who he is and all the things that he's done
My integrity's for God's sake
Who I am is cause of God's grace
And seismic plates try to switch these standards
When a lack of understanding wants to demand answers
The bottom line's I want to serve the king well
I wish that every part of me could only mean well
But with the lust and the pride and the people pleasing, and the selfish attitude
I should receive hell
But thank God that the stains are washed away
My gratitude reflects my attitude
My longitudes directed into, a latitude
I have no bragging rights and that is the status Q
So I tell you my integrity is held by the upper realm
The one who leans over earth and keeps me overwhelmed
It's probably best that my flesh don't have its way
And leave the heart change to his sovereign grace

Sermon Clip by Timothius Pope:
“Some of y’all got some secret sin sitting up in this mug right now, and you don’t wanna tell nobody cause you arrogant…if I disobey in anyway I can go right to the father and say, ‘God, I throw myself on your mercy. I have no right to be in front of you, but you’ve given me your son Jesus.’”

Chorus:
Integrity will go a long way
When it will never go my way, I know y'all heard this one
I grew up a screw up
Got introduced to the name to the name And then I grew up
And then I grew up
And then I grew up (x2)
Track Name: Chief of Sinners
Chief of Sinners

Verse 1:
I write this letter just to speak about the truth that's written better
To all my friends who look up to me as a higher standard
To all of my supporters of my music and my motives
To all my family members thinking I'm the chosen Moses
To all the non-believers fooled by Christian snobby figures
To all the skeptics dancing round relationship with Jesus
To opposite beliefs that claim that they are one with truth
To all the co-exists that think beliefs will all allude a broader path to go
I got some garbage that I need to show
A glamorous life will never benefit your soul or mine
And so I figured I could be the honest one instead of lie
Upon a bed of lies or give a lovely paved facade
Feel you need to get the water poured up on you so do I
And what happened really shouldn't happen here's an honest trailer
When I flip the pages of all my wrongs of all of my ages of all of my actions
Of all of my thoughts of all conversations
See I inherited sin, that I was born in
Got some generational curses that were in storage
Saw the weed the beverages but it wasn't important
Women carried the apple of appetizing distortion
I wanted women, I wanted women in close quarters
Physical and emotional lock em inside the boarders
Traveled along the corridor, just to get the high
It's like I'm up on cloud nine, stacking feelings to the sky
I hated thoughts of profession, so I kept it inside
Fearing what man would think and I'm leaving room for the pride
I grew up to be a God in my mind, the people love me
Parents love me, I was an image beyond the prize
Can't nobody touch me ain't nobody messing wit me
I had a mic so when I rapped I was investing in me
So even when I spoke of God inside the music that I played
It was the times behind the stage, I would never even pray
Had a phase when I just sprinkled Christian lingo on a rhyme scheme
And that's a misconduct
Thought that God would be okay if I just said his name and talked about my awesomeness
Never really felt right on my consciousness
Can't forget decline in my fan base, started losing traffic
Saw some other rappers for Jesus reaching the masses
Never got he chance to hang and so I felt my jealousy
My case, wasn't right if they was right and I was mad
Bitter bite in the dog pound, best if I speak it now
Before I even let the hounds sniff me out
I am a prideful man, and I don't like to admit it
But it does my heart good when you say that you get it
I know my friends need Jesus but I don't speak my peace
I know that I need Jesus, break these chains off of me
I know my cousins look to me but they be caught in the streets
And I don't take time to feed em or believe in em, I’m the chief of sinners boy

Verse 2:
Father in heaven hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done as it is in heaven
I need the lights on like thee 7-Eleven
Always wanted a golden ticket, just to enter heaven
I remember the time when my faith came real
Invited to youth group, didn't know I would build
Them white kids, they would sing and they would stand so still
But I guarantee they knew the purpose of their sword and their shield
And as a black man finally understood and was drawn to it
In desperate need of saving needed to respond to it
I'm a sinner given grace, in Jesus I put my faith
helping me kill my sin daily every single day
I'd be a liar if I said I walked it in perfection everyday
But by the blood of Christ I'm perfect and I'm saved
I don't owe my flesh a thing cause I'm no longer a slave
I am free and I don't need to bow to sin
Lord help me, Lord help me, I'm tempted to view these women wrong
Need to swerve when I'm looking at them too long
The father told me cut it out cause it will do him wrong
What's even worse is I don't gain but I just miss it all
Glory in heaven with my savior my Lord, that's the measure
And in this kingdom is forever everlasting pleasure
Better than the sex, better than the rep
Better than the status I just haven't seen it all yet
But Holy Spirit help me wait for it, and till then
You are my helper, and I can resist sin
The chief of sinners is ready to turn his crown in
So I’ll stand for you Lord, unbounded
Track Name: 10-10
10/10

Chorus (x2):
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
I can't even get myself a letter

Verse 1:
I'm the problem that Jesus solved
Music equates to nothing unless my father's involved
Lyrics amount to rubbish if I don't follow my walk
And my talk is silenced if I am not loving people at all
Applause two the running Paul, truth letting off the rounds
Proof is what's in the ground, for his glory I'm using sounds
Waves that his sea will bring, waters the greatest element
Check out my Eloquence when you're sipping his beverage
This is the end of this road, day one killing this with a pencil on the instrumental
With the info gotta carry cases of the basics I'm a craftsman I'm a blacksmith
They want trapping no craft see they don't want the mac and cheese with this action
Rather get a golden calf, but I will eat the real and fattest half

Chorus (x2):
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
I can't even get myself a letter

Verse 2:
See I'm an infant, I'm a kid, I am an adolescence
Many things to learn I don't boast with the most but I spit what is lesser
The pressure becomes even small when I sin, the wrong that I'm in, is killed when I'm right with the ten
The ten out of ten he is perfect the highest about is the highest on surface
Humans are cats in the water, we don't even know how to swim
This man told me to paddle, another man said (try again)
I'm sinking I need a savior I probably won't even live
Till the captain pulled me from under, told me to get back in
I am a tree I will plant these seeds, odd how I do it with a word and a beat
Try to give you substance veggies and meat it don't mean your teeth will always sink
My word way better when we talk off stage and I walk that
Pray the word make the homie get up off that
I ain't trying to let the world take my soul
When I'm living right here, and I ain't even home

Chorus (x2):
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
Ten out of ten there ain't nothing better
I can't even get myself a letter
Track Name: Love
Love

Verse 1:
I didn't wanna twist this flow, so y'all can hear me
I need y'all to get this flow, will you come near me
Dearly, I assure your not insured without a plan
Unless man progressive and loveth another man
Masculine over the feminine plurals
It applies to the XX and the XY's
Generally speaking we need to learn to love mankind
See in the twentieth twentieth century it's an eye for an eye
That's why my sight is of no relevance, for my peace
My spirit teaches me to seek the end that I can't see
We love a poor man unless we with a group of friends
And wait to see the group of friends make a stand, and then we do something
Don't be a coward with your lovin
I am a broken record what I say is what you've heard
Some combination speeches with a different set of words
Man defines the word love or least he tries to
But we don't know of love unless we read it in the bible
Got a father in the pages got a savior as the model
Learned the meaning of a leader when I put my mic aside to
Get involved on my campus find some people that I need to invest in
Wasn't for me, it was for their own benefit
I remember many of my brothers pouring into me
Learning about this manhood, fighting against the enemy
Fighting against the inner me the sin in me it envies my soul
Real love triumphs, let the evil go
See I wouldn't even know how to love, the real love
Everlasting love coming from the heavens above
And that’s right

Verse 2:
If I didn't love my God I couldn't love y'all
I'm talking love, coming from above y'all
I wouldn't give up my son for your sins
But guess what, I know who did, and that's the most high
Demonstrated his love, Jesus came to us
Endured the pain for us, could of refrained from us
And yet the Gospel wouldn't be the gospel
Unless messiah came out the ground and did the impossible
Probably wonder what's love doing with what I'm saying
If I wasn't sharing, how much would I have to hate a man
If I believe the Gospel of the savior is the way to be redeemed
You can bet I'm planting these seeds, and I will walk that
And every now and then I'll proclaim it in a song format
Upon his floor mat, wipe my shoes, jacket on the coat rack
Bless the Lord cause he's my comfort and soul
Doesn't mean my life is easy, but I know where to go
I got a father I can talk to when I'm disobedient
When I'm lenient, when I'm misleading and, when I'm mischievous
When I need a slapping in the hand, when I need joy and strength
When I'm singing songs and hymns, or write a song to build connection
When I need to reach my peers and friends, when I walk as a man
When I flee past addition and, embrace the truth within
March on my fellow troops and then your life will begin
A day is coming when the bride will see her lover again
And that's love
Track Name: Hope (feat. Jenny Rheume)
Hope feat. Jenny Rheume
Chorus:
Everyday we feel this pain
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
Need someone to take this pain
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for

Verse 1:
Hanging with the fellas summer started
Eating like a king at Olive Garden
Waitress at the table just to greet us
Asked us what we'd like to eat first
But first would you like a glass of wine with your starter
Sorry, I usually just get a water
Got some sass, a lot of humor for a person
But truth be told, the inside she was hurting
Cause a couple weeks ago she said her sister passed away
Hard to smile with her face, cast away the rain
Rather die and dig her grave to meet the makers name
And hope that death is better just to take away the pain

Chorus:
Everyday we feel this pain
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
Need someone to take this pain
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for

Verse 2:
Downtown at the circle
On a Sunday, parking's free
Saw a fella with a cup of change
Got some scruff on his goatee
My backpack got some chance that I forgot about
Told him he could have it when I pulled it out
Got to know his story why he stopped working
On the railroad and now his back hurting
Got some surgery to try to fix the problem
Took a couple nuts and bolts but it could never really solve it
Wants to work, but his burden is a physical condition
But he prays that his condition won't affect a job position

Chorus:
Everyday we feel this pain
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
Need someone to take this pain
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for

Verse 3:
I've felt rain on the sunniest days the scattered clouds
Shake it off is like drying off without a towel
And so I let the son bring the sunshine
Don't ignore the hard times, give it all to divine
I met a lot of people in the middle of the struggle
The ones that's outside of the Christian bubble
Father son and the ghost are the ones
That make it better and the ones that these people gonna hope for

Chorus (x3):
Everyday we feel this pain
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
I know we're getting closer
Need someone to take this pain
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for
We need something to hope for
Track Name: Journal Pages
Journal Pages

Verse 1:
I got an excerpt
When my chest hurts
When the pain’s real
When I feel cursed
When I’m an object, I’m worn out
And when I can’t give, I’m pourn out
My songs are too sung, I feel like Sheol
My lips are too numb, I cannot kneel
My pen’s too dense
I am convinced that this despair is so real
And you don’t care, father
Abba abba father, if I’m an heir then what’s the problem
Why do I suffer, why do I gotta
What’s up with the monster that rests inside the ink and lays upon the pages
Use the line break as blankets, and each phrase is so contagious
What’s this all about, tell me what’s this pain about
Did I not confess my sins, did we not just work this out
I offer my words to you, my Lord, my journal, I’ll wait
So make me humble, don’t want to cause you trouble

Chorus (x2):
I don’t know what to say say say say say say
I got this pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain
You said you know my way way way way way way
Write on these pages it will all be okay

Verse 2:
I got an excerpt
When my heart heals
When I feel no pain
When my faith builds
When I’m a vessel, I don’t wear out
And when I give, I pour out
My songs are praises, I feel like haven
My limbs are too strong, I feel like praying
My pen’s a quill
I am convinced that his presence is so real
And you do care, father
Abba abba father, if I’m an heir I have no problem
And when I suffer, I know I gotta, no monster I fear
I know you hear me, I know you’re near me
You gave your life up on that cross you love me and you sealed me
Now what’s this all about, tell me what’s this all about
Washed away all of my sins, so you already worked that out
I offer my life to you, my Lord, my journal, you proved the wait
And I am humbled, I’ll never cause you trouble

Pre Chorus:
I don’t know what to say say say say say say
I got this pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain
You said you know my way way way way way way
Write on these pages it will all be okay
I don’t know what they say say say say say say
I got this pain pain pain pain pain, man
You said you know my way way way way way way
Write on these pages and it will all be okay

Chorus:
I don’t know what to say say say say say say
I got this pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain
You said you know my way way way way way way
Write on these pages it will all be okay